Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. Casual dating is not for everyone, and that is fine, as long as those who choose to date casually know what it entails. Remember to ask yourself what you want and what you are comfortable with.


My sexuality is a huge part of my identity…but the desexualization of disabled people was one of the things that really kept me from trying to be open about it. Brianna Campbell of Two Chairs Behavioral Health says that a significant portion of the barriers facing disabled people when it comes to dating actually start earlier than you’d think. A casual partner is not one you can call in the middle of the night if you should fall ill. They are not one you can call upon to help you with your moving boxes.

You’re official

Make sure you don’t sacrifice too many things to keep this casual relationship alive (notice the casual in bolds. That’s all it is, casual). While trying to tone down the cuteness, don’t go overboard and start becoming completely mean. You need to do enough to show them you care and you’re interested, but not enough to convey that you’ve fallen in love. Go out to the movies, go out on dates, work on making the sex better, if you’re having any. The crucial balance between not going overboard and being nonchalant is important to find. If the shoe fits right, it won’t be hard to find the balance.

But don’t talk about other people you are dating

If you’re worried that meeting up with the other person might lead to falling into bed together, you should try and discuss things in a neutral, public place. I’m not a big fan of Winter, but even then, every month has something that’s pretty great. But for me, March has always been my favorite month of the year, and for good reason. Grow a love of football in them if they don’t already have one because they’ll need it. I don’t really have anything specific for this one.

Similar to avoiding affection, you also want to make sure your body language isn’t too lovey-dovey. You want to avoid looking deep into their eyes while having sex or just having a drink or two. Whether you are a casual dater or not, it can be hard to shut down your feelings. If one of you is catching feelings or moving forward with someone else, you need to fill each other in. Without this, you will continue making potential mistakes without realizing them.

Despite your intention of keeping things casual, your feelings might take an unexpected turn. You might feel hesitant to bring it up out of fear that you’ll wreck the good thing you’ve got going. When something more serious underlies your feelings, dating may not do much to address the real problem. You’ll generally need support from a therapist to work through anxiety or depression, for example. You’ll probably want to have a conversation early on about sexual boundaries, too.

You don’t have to have casual sex to casually date, and it’s important that you and the person you’re dating respect each other’s boundaries surrounding sex and physical intimacy. If you do want to establish physical intimacy with a partner, casual dating can offer consistency in this respect as well (i.e., having sex with the same partner). When dating, especially trying to form a relationship, you may consider if you are meeting your partner’s friends or family members. This can be a good indication if you are exclusively dating or just menu dating.

And real dates have expectations of leading into something more serious. Also, you don’t need to check in with each other about what their schedule looks like or how their day is going. When you intertwine your lives like that, it crosses the line into serious relationship territory.

Maybe you’ve been in a toxic relationship or you just don’t like the drama that comes with a relationship. You won’t be receiving any “You don’t give me attention! You don’t have to worry about hanging out with friends of the opposite sex. Best of all, you won’t have to answer, “So, what’d you eat today?

During the dinner, he proceeded to tell me that he was “dating me”, along with a whole lot of other women. Yes, he was narcissistic , but that’s not why I’m bringing this up. Case in point—one of my favorite people on the entire planet has told me, pretty much since her adolescence (she’s 39 now), that marriage is something she’s absolutely not interested in or a fan of. Still, she consistently has a dating life that rivals mine and at least 80 percent of the people that I know. Elite Daily tapped a few relationship experts to get you the oh-so-secret deets on how to make a casual relationship work. Here are five casual dating “rules” to follow so you’re always on the same page with your casual boo — you’re welcome in advance.

Serious relationships will decide to date casually because they just do not want anything heavy right after coming out of a romantic relationship. Committed relationship, but you still enjoy the person for the time you are together. Some opt for casual dating, while some do not believe in any of the dating patterns. But even if someone makes a marriage proposal, it isn’t meant to be taken seriously — rather, it indicates that marriage is something that is on a lot of people’s minds people’s minds most of the time.