That’s unprofessional and will eventually hurt your career and reputation with other coworkers and your superiors. No matter what happens in the relationship, you’re going to have to continue seeing and interacting with them at least five days out of the week . There can be cheating, breakups, new relationships, all the risks of a regular relationship. Only with this one, you can’t just block them and move on. When you have to work on teams with others, don’t make them feel like they are the third or fourth wheel on a date. Remember, at work your ultimate goal is to do your job well and collaborate well with your coworkers.
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Decide early on who you will disclose your relationship to. There may very well be a workplace policy requiring you to disclose your relationship to certain people, such as HR professionals. If this is the case, be sure to disclose your relationship to these people early on so it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to hide anything.
If that doesn’t happen, speak with your HR to see if you can be transferred to another team and your reporting structure can be changed. In many cases, that is not a possibility depending on the opportunities available at your company. Know that you may have to think about changing your company altogether if the breakup is messy.
So understanding what you’re putting on the line is key. Plus, the #MeToo movement exposed the prevalence of abuse of power and sexual misconduct in the workplace. This has made both workers and employers more cautious about romance on the job. When Becca Pierson worked at a large tech company, she was assigned to help a new employee, Meryl, onboard. After getting to know one another over several months, the two women started dating.
Not to mention, we spend more than one-third of our waking life at the office, meaning the odds are good that you’ll catch some feels for a colleague eventually. If you’re aware of these risks and still want to move forward, research shows that your intentions matter. Your coworkers’ reactions will reflect what they believe your motives to be, says Baker.
How to Date a Coworker. 6 Rules for Dating a Colleague
Whatever you do, never start an illicit affair or hide a relationship from your colleagues for the sake of skirting the rules. As a manager, you set a precedent for employees to follow. Being a positive role model is key, and so avoiding the company dating pool altogether is a good idea.
Involving your professional life with your personal life can inevitably affect your career. For more on this, check out the “Will it Affect My Career? Don’t put your coworker in an awkward, uncomfortable, or unsafe situation. Again, this person’s right to safety and comfort at work is paramount. If they say “no”, do not under any circumstances pressure them or ask them again. If you’re thinking about hooking up or casual sex with a coworker, we really suggest you don’t do it.
Dating your boss, manager, or supervisor could get you unfair favors at work. Dating a coworker also opens you up to the risk of sexual harassment or being put in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation, Cesario adds. If someone takes advantage of you, for instance, they could withhold promotions or bad mouth you to coworkers in leadership positions, she explains.
However, really be sure to set boundaries with the kind of behavior and language that’s acceptable in the workplace. Others shouldn’t feel free to pry into the personal details of your relationship, and they also shouldn’t be subjected to witnessing any PDA at work. Your coworkers may have their own opinions about you dating a coworker, but don’t let your relationship ulust com cause any issues with your coworkers. You really don’t want to become “that couple,” to the exclusion of your other co-workers, and you also don’t want to spend too much time together (and risk burnout!). What happens at home or in your personal life (no matter who you’re dating) almost always affects your attitude, which affects your work — it’s just a fact of life.
However, if you will have to work closely with one another, things could get complicated if you end up breaking up. There are lots of aspects of dating a colleague that can make you scared. There is always a chance that a relationship with your crush won’t work and it harms both of you. Conflicts of interest between you and your partner may cause tension and potential conflicts.
They lean in when you talk
Take off your rose-colored glasses and think through the worst-case scenario. This is important because both parties will be accepting risk by getting involved. While Becca and Meryl remain friends, Becca says that the whole experience has made her want to steer clear from having another relationship at work. Heather left the company about nine months into their relationship for unrelated reasons, and she and Alex wed several years later.
Check with your company’s relationship policies before asking a coworker out since they may not allow it. The hardest part is actually asking your coworker out on a date. It can be very intimidating, but remember that you ultimately don’t have much to lose. The worst that could happen is your coworker may politely turn you down, in which case you’ll just smile and politely excuse yourself.Be polite and warm when you ask. Don’t come across as pushy or needy, and don’t act disinterested.
A third of the 550 Americans surveyed responded that they began or sustained a relationship with a colleague during the pandemic – a 6% rise since the pre-pandemic days of 2019. Some workplaces require you to disclose any intra-office romances to your supervisor. Where and how you ask your coworker out are very important factors to consider. If others are around, your coworker might feel uncomfortable or pressured into saying yes or no.
